He was never yours
by Raikiriblade
Summary: In which Sasaki has a dream. A dream of a man as bright as sun itself.


A/N: inspired by a fanfiction I read, and it is quite similar, I'm sorry if the original author sees this, it was so beautiful I just had to. Can you PM me or something to tell me who you are so I can properly credit? I'm so sorry for any offense taken. I can take it down if you want, I really luke that fanfiction btw!

Inspired by a wonderfully skilled author on

Disclaimer: I really don't own a thing. I'm kinda broke now.

(Line)

A pair of warm hands, gentle, caressing, brushing across his cheek affectionately.

The pair of hands that belonged to a faceless man, but he knew that he was smiling tenderly.

Arms wrapping around his form, lips brushing across his ear sending tingles down down body, making him go lax against him. The man beside him was bright like the warm, a soothing warmness enamating from his body. It chased away ice in his veins and filled frim with feeling.

There were no hard edges, the room bathed in a soft white light. Pristine white sheets entangled them in a peaceful embrace, the blanket keeping them snug in a warm embrace.

Sasaki felt warm, light and airy, as if he could simply float away. He entangled his fingers in the man's hair, now a warm brown, and that voice, soothing, unfamiliar yet familiar at the same time, whispers into his ear. The man remains faceless, fingers caressing his shoulders.

Sasaki turns to face him, and in the pure warmth he smiles, his first genuine smile in a long while, and presses his cold lips against warm ones.

It was short and sweet, as his thumbs rubbed his skin slowly. Legs lost themselves in the tangle, and with each soft sigh the voice vibrates louder in his ear.

Sasaki felt as if he were coloured in monochrome, a gradient of cold greys, and as the soft kiss spread and travelles over his being, he felt as if a flurry of colour was overtaking the gray.

"I love you." He murmurs, and Sasaki can feel his lips curl up in a smile.

The man sighs a name, and his smile fades.

There it was. The name he didn't know. The name he wasn't.

He hopes he heard it wrong, the rustling of the sheets filling the white room, as he pulls himself closer.

The man's face is getting clearer.

"Say it again," Sasaki croaks, fingers loosening their grip over warm hands.

"I love you." The man declares again, and now Sasaki can see the dark roots of the man's hair.

A pang of hurt twisted its way into his chest, he loved him. Him. But who was 'him'?

"Say my name again," Sasaki pleads, staring into those hauntingly familiar eyes, which were looking at him which such love that hurt him so much now because now he knew it wasn't directed at him.

 _ **It is and never will be**_ , a wretched voice whispers in his mind, along with checkered tiles and caged ceilings.

Hide's eyebrows rise, lips quirking at his request. He looks amused, but says it anyway. The moment he opens his mouth, Sasaki regrets asking and desperately wanted him to stop.

"I love you, Kaneki Ken."

Sasaki's eyes widen, and his heart fell.

Hide raises one hand to hold Sasaki's and he can see that it was no longer his. The way the light reflected of the nails told him it wasn't painted. Black.

"Why did you leave me?"

The hand on his shoulder suddenly burned hot, making him cry out before it gave away to icy slick coldness as he felt something drip down his from Hide's fingers, the room darkens, and suddenly Hide is clothed in that uniform. His eyes are hollowed, wide but still smiling, crimson staining the side of his lips, the grip on him becomes painful, and Hide utters those words that Sasaki reacts so violently to.

"Let's go home."

As the cups of coffee on the table rattle and split to give way to black liquid, flames that tainted the scene a hellish red turned the breaking wood black with ash. Ceiling beams crumpled and melted, as windows screamed as they shattered to smithereens.

There were no longer soft sheets to cushion two bodies, and Sasaki feels splintered wood and scorching heat beneath his knees.

He,it, Not-Sasaki was now holding Hide in his arms, as Hide spattered more blood.

A voice, not Sasaki, not the man, slipped out of bloody lips in a poisonous accusation.

 ** _You left him. You selfish being. You left Touka-cha_** n.

I don't know that name.

 _ **Yomo-san.**_

Stop.

 _ **Tenchou.**_

It's not my fault.

 _ **Hinami-chan. What about the promise you made with her mother? To protect her? How long has it been?**_

STOP NOMORE

 _ **What about them?**_

 **I** DO **N'T** K **NO** W AN _ **YO**_ _N_ E! I DO _NT_ _ **K**_ **N** OWIDO **NTKN** O ** _WIDINTK_** NOW-

 _ **You stole him away from them.**_

I A **M H** UM _ **AN! I**_ _M_ NO **THIM** I ** _MS_** A **S** AKI **H** ** _AI_** _S_ E-

He sees two brillant eyes, seclera a night black, pupils a wide expense of glowing red, forcing itself into his subconscious.

He screams, and sits up from his bed, sweat dripping down his forehead, tears flowing freely from his eyes and he sobs.

He claws at the sheets, now stained with red. His nails are clear.

His eyes gaze at the mirror. Black and white.

He wasn't him, he wasn't the one with the name he didn't know. Haise. Sasaki. He was Sasaki. Nothing else.

An awful voice resounds in his wretched mind.

 _ **He wasn't yours to begin with, Sasaki Haise. And he**_ _ **never**_ _ **will.**_

Sasaki cannot control the hysteria anymore, as he releases his bloody lip from his teeth and screams.

A/N: How was it? Let me know with your reviews!


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